taken out of context

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 17:31:31 GMT

"You ask the sea, what can you promise me
and it speaks the truth; it says erasure."

you don’t feel it, then it must be too real to touch

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 03:29:29 GMT

Some days I just wanna up and call it quits
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks
Everytime I go to get up, I just fall in pits
My life's like one great big ball of shit
If I could just put it all into all I spit
Instead of always trying to swallow it
Instead of staring at this wall and shit
While I sit, writer's block, sick of all this shit
Can't call it shit, all I know is I'm about to hit the wall
If I have to see another one of mom’s alcoholic fits
This is it, last straw, that’s all, that’s it
I ain't dealing with another fuckin' politic
I'm like a skillet bubbling until it filters up
I'm about to kill it, I can feel it building up
Blow this building up, I’ve been sealed enough
My cup runneth over, I done filled it up
The pen explodes and busts, ink spills my guts
You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,
Well I'm-a show you what, you gon' feel my rush,
You don’t feel it, then it must be too real to touch,
Feel the touch, I'm about to tear shit up
Goosebumps, yeah, I'm-a make your hair sit up
Yeah sit up, I'm-a tell you who I be
I'm-a make you hate me 'cause you ain't me
You wait, it ain't too late to finally see
What you closed-minded fucks were too blind to see
Whoever finds me's gonna get a finder's fee
Out this world, ain't no one out they mind as me
You need peace of mind? Here’s a piece of mine.
All I need’s a line,
But sometimes I don’t always find the words to rhyme
To express how I'm really feeling at that time, yeah
Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes
Just sometimes, it’s always me.
How dark can these hallways be?
The clock strikes midnight, one, two, then half past three
This half-assed rhyme, with this half-assed piece of paper
I'm desperate at my desk
If I could just get the rest of this shit off my chest again
Stuck in a slump, can't think of nothing
Fuck I'm stumped, but wait, here comes something
Nope, it's not good enough, scribble it out, new pad,
Crinkle it up and throw the shit out
I'm fizzlin' now, thought I figured it out
Ball’s in my court, but I'm scared to dribble it out
I'm afraid, but why am I afraid, why am I a slave to this trade?
Cyanide I spit to the grave, real enough to rile you up
Want me to flip it, I can rip it any style you want
I'm-a switch hitter, bitch, Jimmy Smith ain't a quitter
I'm-a sit it here 'til I get enough of me to finally hit
A fucking boiling point, put some oil on your joints
Flip the coin, bitch, come get destroyed
An emcee's worst dream, I make 'em tense
They hate me, see me and shake like a chain-link fence
By the looks of 'em you would swear that jaws was comin',
By the screams of 'em, you would swear I'm sawin' someone,
By the way they running, you would swear the law was comin'
It's now or never, and tonight it's all or nothing,
Mama, Jimmy keeps leaving on us, he said he'd be back,
He pinky promised, I don't think he's honest,
"I'll be back, baby, I just gotta beat this clock"
Fuck this clock, I'm-a make 'em eat this watch
Don't believe me? Watch, I'm-a win this race,
And I'm-a come back and rub my shit in your face, bitch!
I found my niche, you gonna hear my voice,
'Til you're sick of it, you ain't gonna have a choice,
If I gotta scream till I have half a lung,
If I have half a chance I'll grab it, Rabbit Run

(:

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:51:14 GMT

a calm, singular focus

There will be an answer

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 00:42:59 GMT

Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely little cottage made of gingerbread and candy. She was always asleep. One morning she woke up, and the candy had mold on it. Her father blew her a kiss and the house fell down. She realized she was lost. She found herself walking down a crowded street, but the people were made of paper, like paper dolls. She blew everyone a kiss goodbye, and watched as they blew away.

Let it be

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 00:09:54 GMT

My family's going on a day trip to Baltimore on Thursday, and I'm wondering if anyone knows any particularly cool things to do in Baltimore. I mean, I've been to some cool museums there, and I know of a couple thrift stores, but does anyone have any awesome restaurant suggestions, or just anything at all?

BAM

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:37:47 GMT

http://www.rufuswainwright.com/player/default.aspx?mid=3920&bhcp=1

Mon, 10 Mar 2008 02:40:08 GMT

All I've been listening to lately is West Side Story, the songs with Tony in particular, and screamo. And I have come to the conclusion that there should be a screamo rendition of West Side Story. Just think: MaaariiiAAAAAAAHHUDCCHHCHCHCHHCHCHCHHCHHHH DIEEEEEE THE AGONNYYYYYYYYY GAHHHHHHAHHHHHH, the most beautiful sound I ever heard...

Aside from that insanity, today I feel like sharing a silly little thing with the listeners out there. Growing up, I was very attached to the Beatles song "I'm So Tired" (I still am). However, until about a year ago, I thought of the song as having a very different meaning as it's supposed to.
I always thought that they were singing,
I'm so tired, I couldn't sleep a wink, to mean that they were so tired that it would be impossible for them to sleep.
That's not the most interesting, though. The main misunderstanding (although maybe I'm actually the only one who ever really understood it, and everyone else is wrong, including the Beatles themselves!) was that I thought they were saying,
I'll give you everything I got for a little piece of mine.
I know now that it's "I'll give you everything I got for a little peace of mind." But I still prefer what I originally thought, and I still hear it that way. And it makes sense. I think it's lovely: the woman he is in love with has just taken him over so completely, just entirely owns every part of him, that he ironically suggests to give her everything he has if he could just have a piece of himself. He feels completely swallowed up. He has nothing of his own to give, but he will give it all to have something of his own back. It's beautiful and impossible.

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 22:20:38 GMT

Zach and Marisa make up one very snuggly jacket.

Today was prime rainbow weather.

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 22:54:52 GMT

http://youtube.com/watch?v=it0OIPx8w_c

Tue, 19 Feb 2008 18:37:14 GMT

I am going to work my ass off. That's such a wonderful, empowering decision.

--

I ran away, hands stuck in my pockets that seemed
All holes; my jacket was a holey ghost as well.
I followed you, Muse! Beneath your spell,
Oh, la, la, what glorious loves I dreamed!

I tore my shirt; I threw away my tie.
Dreamy Hop o' my Thumb, I made rhymes
As I ran. I slept out most of the time.
The stars above me rustled through the sky.

I heard them on the roadsides where I stopped
Those fine September nights, when the dew dropped
On my face and I licked it to get drunk.

I made up rhymes in dark and scary places,
And like a lyre I plucked the tired laces
Of my worn-out shoes, one foot beneath my heart.

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 18:12:20 GMT

Dear Gods of LOST,

Thank you for so much Sayid. Sayiiiiiiid.

Love,

Mrs. Sayid

PS. Next time too? Please?

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 07:33:26 GMT

There are a lot of people

gonna free fall out into nothing

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 20:26:56 GMT

When you think you've found something worth holding on to

The ways the days and hours pass you'll never understand
Falling like rain through your hands

Sat, 26 Jan 2008 18:17:19 GMT

doo doodoo doodoo doodoo doo doodoo doo doo

always

traveling

People...are...robots.

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:00:32 GMT

I've got soul, but I'm not a SOULJA BOY OFF IN THIS HO

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 04:06:08 GMT

There was a time when you let me know what's real and going on below, but now you never show that to me, do you?

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 22:46:21 GMT

one
two
three
four thine owne goode!

Dominate.

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:24:25 GMT

I won't stand up for falling down.

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 16:56:45 GMT

indoor fireworks can still burn your fingers

I suggest that all of you watch The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It's just recently in theatres.
I can't describe it, it's just everything.

when the smoke gets in your eyes

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 04:11:51 GMT

Goodbye, the first day of 2008.

2007, one could say that you were the best of times, and you were the worst of times.

well, well, well, what have we here?
it's going to be a happy new year.
there, there...

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 00:16:24 GMT

"I don't know what kind of girl I am."

- Juno

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:05:11 GMT

Surprises can be a wonderful thing, on the one hand.

Going through my new postsecret book, I came across one on the right-hand page that read: "If you're waiting for a sign...this is it. Do it. It Will Be Amazing." This postsecret was on the website a long time ago, and I don't remember how I reacted to it then. But this time it really struck me. I have been waiting for a sign for something, but for something I do not know. I tried some things. I wrote a letter, and I thought about things I've wanted to do. Nothing seemed to fit. For what have I been waiting for a sign? The letter has not been sent, the thoughts have not been expanded upon. Because maybe there isn't really anything in particular I needed prompting to do. Maybe I just needed to be reminded that I can always take a chance.
How important do you think it is for something to feel right? I think whether something feels right or not often is 50 percent bullshit, 40 percent something worth listening to, and 10 percent how you slept the night before.

I'm thinking about leaving the Christmas lights in my room up all year.

And the other hand has been amputated, so I guess surprises can just be a wonderful thing.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:45:54 GMT

In an unexpected twist, I have been allowed to stay home to work all the day long.

roll a new leaf over

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 04:11:17 GMT

I'm not a jealous man, but females lie.
but I guess that's just what sluts do.
how could it ever be just us two?
I never loved you enough to trust you;
we just met, and I just fucked you.

you want what you can't have

ooh, girl, that's too damn bad

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 00:53:35 GMT

It's nights like this where I wish I were a dancer.

But I am feeling warm and comfortable here on my couch tonight, in my sweater, doing math and French. I feel at peace, for no reason--in fact, in spite of reason. But I'm not looking back or especially forward, just looking at equations and verbs. I'm sitting with just enough lights on to see my papers, listening to Robyn Hitchcock on our destroyed stereo system, so broken that it sounds cracklier than a record.
Today was a nice day, mostly, because I let it be.
Doing math after an evening of talking politics and poetry over oranges and cookies with my mom. It's nice. It's night.
I'm thinking about Christmas lights to put up in my room, and the advent calendars I don't want to put up this year, and the presents I don't want to get this year. Thinking about how my mom called Marx a philosopher, and how he would have hated to hear that. Thinking about factoring, and being grateful it comes so easily to me. Thinking about prendre, comprendre, apprendre, surprendre. Thinking about boire, croire, voir, recevoir. Thinking about how nice it is that my parents are watching a movie upstairs and my sibling is on the computer, immersed in something, so I get that wonderful feeling of being alone in the house without it actually being so.

Guess what, I've spoken to Norm. We're going to live in the trees.

Norm was the name of both my grandfathers.

I've got that full moon in my soul.

It's four hours and eight minutes to Phil's birthday. Make that seven.